Naruto Finds A Book
by NowOrNever
Summary: Naruto finds a book in his house. He brings it with him when he goes to meet the rest of Team 7. [slightly crack]


If you're looking for something serious, look somewhere else. I don't know where this came from. I thought, 'Hm... What if Naruto found a book about horoscopes...?' And then this was born. I did a lot of research. I found out the characters birthdays and then looked up their horoscope information. :collapses: So yea. If you wanna flame me, go ahead. I'll publicly humiliate you. No, not really. I'll probably just laugh and roast marshmellows. So enjoy!

And if you think I own Naruto, you need help. I wouldn't write fanfiction if I did. And Sasuke and Naruto would've gotten together a _long, long_ time ago. Although there is no pairing in this fic...

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All of the Horoscope stuff came from size1 width100 noshade>It was a nice, clear day in Konoha. The sun was shining brightly, throwing light through windows, into the faces of sleeping people. When the sun fell across one Uzumaki Naruto's face, he opened his eyes groggily, and then smiled. Today was a new day! Climbing out of bed, Naruto padded into his kitchen to make some breakfast. On the way there, his eyes fell on a book that was just sitting in his hall. Naruto frowned. He didn't remember a book being there last night. Instead of going to the kitchen, his feet steered him over to the book. He picked it up and flipped through. Not really understanding what it was about, he decided to bring it with him to training. Maybe Sakura or Kakashi would know. Sasuke would probably know, too, but Naruto refused to think of asking him. The bastard would probably just smirk in that smug way of his and call Naruto 'dobe'.

So after Naruto had his breakfast, he made his way to the place Kakashi had told them he would meet them at 10, his nose in the book. Several people gave him odd looks, not used to seeing him with a book, but he didn't notice. He didn't look up until he bumped into a pole, then decided it would be safer to wait until he got there to read.

Sakura, the first person to make it to the meeting spot, looked up when she heard someone coming, thinking it was Sasuke. When she saw it was just Naruto, she seemed to droop a little, and started to turn her back on him.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto beamed and ran over to his teammate. "Sakura-chan, I found this book in my house! I didn't understand what it was about, so I was wondering if you could tell me." He handed her the book with a hopeful expression.

Unable to allow herself to be mean to him, she gave him a small smile. "Sure, Naruto." She took the book from him. Looking at it, she raised her eyes to Naruto. "It's a book about Horoscopes, Naruto. It says so right on the cover." She held it up to show him.

Naruto blinked, then smiled and scratched the back of his head. "Ha-ha! I guess I missed that!" He sat down next to Sakura, looking at the book. "Hey. We should look up everyone's horror-"

"Horoscope, Naruto. Not 'horror-scopes'," Sakura corrected him with a sigh. "But yeah. I think that'd be fun." She gave Naruto a friendly smile. Sometimes it just wasn't easy to be Naruto's friend. He could just be so _dense_ sometimes!

"Let's look up mine first!"

"Okay, Naruto. What's your birthday again?"

"October 10!"

"Alright. It says you're a Libra."

"Libra?"

"Yes, Libra. The Scales. It says you're diplomatic, easygoing, sociable and idealistic."

"Oh. Uhm… Sakura-chan?"

"It means unrealistic, Naruto."

"Oh. Okay. What else does it say about me!"

"You're changeable, gullible and easily influenced. All of which I think are true. The good things, too."

Naruto beamed. "Thank you, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura sighed. "It's not good to be gullible, Naruto…"

"Oh… Does it say anything else!"

"You like sharing and conviviality-" Naruto opened his mouth "it means friendliness" it closed "and you dislike injustice and being a slave to fashion."

"I think he proves that with his horrendously orange jumpsuit."

Naruto glared. "Shut up, Sasuke-teme! It's not 'horrendously orange', it's tastefully orange!" He crossed his arms and huffed.

Sasuke smirked. "Whatever you say, dobe." He sat down on the other side of Sakura and looked at the book.

"Stop calling me that!"

"Would you like to see what it says about you, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura blushed.

Sasuke shrugged.

"What's your birthday, Sasuke-kun?"

"July 23."

"You're a Leo. It says you're generous, warmhearted, creative, enthusiastic and expansive."

"Wait! What does expansive mean, Sakura-chan?"

"It means outgoing, dobe."

"Shut up, Sasuke-teme! I didn't ask you! And anyway, you aren't any of those things! You're a-a-a-… an icicle! That's right!"

Slap. "Naruto! Shut up! Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!"

"Ow! Sakura-chan! You didn't have to hit me!" Pout.

"Anyway, Sasuke-kun. It also says you're pompous, patronizing, bossy and dogmatic. But I don't believe any of that!"

"What does-?"

"It means rigid, Naruto."

"He's ALL of those things! All the bad stuff! He thinks he owns everyone! He has a stick up his-"

"Naruto!"

"Well, it's true!"

Slap.

"Sakura-chan!"

"I want to see what it says about me. My birthday's March 28. That means I'm Aries. Hey! Look at that, Sasuke-kun! We're both fire signs! Isn't that so cool!"

Ignore.

Sigh.

"What's it say, Sakura-chan!"

"It says I'm energetic, courageous, confident and dynamic. It also says that I'm selfish, quick-tempered and impulsive."

"You're not selfish, Sakura-chan!"

"What are you three reading?"

Sakura and Naruto jump. Sakura only jumped slightly, while Naruto fell off of his perch. He jumped back up to join Sakura in their ritualistic scolding of their sensei.

"Kakashi-sensei! You're two hours late!"

"Really? I thought it was three…"

"Sensei!"

"I'm sorry. You see, there was this-"

"Forget it, Sensei. We don't want to hear your bullshit excuses."

"That's no way to talk to your sensei. And you guys never answered my question. What are you reading?"

"Naruto found a Horoscope book in his house. He didn't know what it was-"

"Big surprise."

"I'm not stupid, Sasuke-teme!"

"Dobe."

"-so he brought it with him so he could find out. And then we started looking up our horoscopes. Want to know yours, Sensei?"

"Sure, Sakura. September 15. I believe I'm a Virgo."

"You're right, Sensei! It says you're modest, shy, meticulous, reliable, practical and intelligent."

"Sakura-chan, what does me-tic-u-lous mean?"

"It means careful."

"Oh. But Kakashi-sensei isn't any of those things!"

"I'm not?"

"No way, Sensei! You're not reliable! You're always late!"

"Ah, but is that everything that it said I am?"

"Huh-What?

"You said I wasn't any of those things. Reliable is only one thing."

"W-Well… I don't think you're very modest! Or shy!"

"Naruto! Stop arguing with Kakashi-sensei! He's smarter than you!"

"Sakura-chan!"

Ignore. "It also says that you're a worrier, overcritical and harsh."

"Yeah! You're really harsh, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Well. I think this is enough fooling around for one day. We'll be training straight through till sunset. No breaks."

"WHAT!"

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Review and I will love you forever! And possibly review your stuff. :nudge nudge: 


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